Miss Angel Davenport: Relationship + Child = Complications ... Doesn’t always have to be that way

If being young and in a relationship isn’t complicated enough then imagine adding a baby in the equation? A relationship alone is never easy; including a baby in the mix can turn it into total and complete chaos. In all honesty having a baby can either make or break a relationship. However, never think having his baby will make him stay or love you more, because if a man really wants to be with his girl he would be with her, baby or no baby. Once the decision is made to keep the baby ladies understand that that man will be in your life forever whether you guys are together or not, whether he decides to move on or not, whether he decides to participant in the child’s life or not, he will always have some type of role in your life forever. You have men that will be happy when they find out their girl is pregnant be with them through the whole pregnancy then when the baby comes all the responsibilities are left on the girl, which creates lots of arguments, frustrations, aggravations, and eventually hatred. Or you have men that disappear the moment they found out their girl is pregnant, they are considered cowards and punks that don’t know how to step up to the plate when needed and the love was never really there, in the relationship, on their part. Then you have men that’s there by their girl side the moment he finds out she’s pregnant. He’s there through the pregnancy and active in the baby life. He’s a good father and good boyfriend, but trying to maintain the relationship while caring for a baby can def put a strain on both parties. Not all relationships are complicated with a baby. Sometimes a relationship + child = success and can work. I’m not saying success in a sense of perfection, but success in the sense that both parties are willing/trying to make their relationship work. No relationship is ever perfect, but in order to make it work both of you guys has to really want it. Here are some tips on trying to make a relationship work with a child involve:

· Both parties have to be equally active in the child life. Caring for the child should not solely be left on one parent. There has to be a balance.

· Make some “ME” time. Take time for yourself away from your girl, away from your man. Go shopping, get a mani/pedi, hang with your girls etc. Fellas play your video games; hang with your boys, etc.

· Have family time. Mommy, Daddy, and baby. Go out to eat, movies, etc.

· Communicate. If there’s a disagreement on how to raise, punish, dress, feed the child, etc., talk about it, give reasons, compromise/come to an agreement. Never argue in front of the child.

· Be faith ßthat’s with any relationship! But your family should always be your #1 priority, because when you cheat it’s not just on your girl/man, your child too. It will affect your whole little family!

· Leave your baby with their grandparents and have Mommy and Daddy time! Keep your relationship going, keep it exciting. Go out on dates and do fun things together ;- )

· Have future plans involving each other. Set goals and accomplish them together. Encourage each other.

· Go to church and pray together. Like they say “A Family That Prays Together Stays Together”

· Understand that there will be hard times. No relationship is easy. Don’t argue and blame each other, it only makes the situation worst. Support and believe in one another. Work harder to make it through. It will create a stronger relationship and show signs of maturity

These are some of the things I’ve learned from experience that helped my relationship grow even more after the birth of my son. It has to take both parties to really want the relationship in order for it to succeed. So mothers out there that are struggling to make things work with their baby’s father or boyfriend try these tips, it worked for meJ. And young ladies that doesn’t have kids I encourage you to wait until you’re married it’s so much easier lol, but if that’s not the case make sure you found a guy that you can see a future with that you know will be a great father. Great fathers are hard to find, so admiration goes out to all the great fathers out there that’s actively present in their child’s life! Hope this was helpful!